Sunday, April 17, 2011

Turkish Pick-up Lines

No one will ever tell you that Turkish men are smooth- rather they are in your face, follow you down the street, peep in your window forward. Well, maybe not all of them, but at least the one's that approached us. I'd have to reach pretty far back to remember  equally cheesy pick-up lines. Istanbul was by far the worst. One must possess the strong ability to tell the numerous suitors to '"screw off" if one hopes to make it out of here alive, or at the very least not pregnant :)

So it all starts with an innocent "Hello!" or a "my you are beautiful" in the park.....then comes the persistent following as you start to pickup your pace. If you find yourself silly enough to slow down often names are exchanged, and then the most pitiful array of handshake tricks you have seen. Kissing the back of someones hand is seen as a very romantic gesture in these parts, and handshakes last much longer than is comfortable in any normal western society- I'm pretty sure if you are counting in your head "one- one thousand, two- one thousand" than you are getting a hand molestation taking place, and not a simple shake!! We actually started making a list of the creepiest, and funniest lines we encountered on the trip. Here are a few of the gems:

"I saw you sitting in your hotel yesterday." AKA the stalker, since our room was on the third floor. I'm pretty sure binoculars or a long-lens were involved in this one!!

"Your scarf matches the colour of your eyes." Me wearing a light aqua scarf with dark green eyes.

"Have you been to the palace and seen the diamond, cause it is not as beautiful as your eyes!"

Whilst pointing at us: "You are the best! And you are the best! And all others must die!" Said by a chanting olderish man.

"Please, do not be like a candle in the wind to me." Not ever sure what this one means!

My personal favourite: "Excuse me, I'm not dangerous." Well obviously!!!

"How many camels for your sister?" I replied that I would take no less than 10 for her!!

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